I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
