FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
