I just pynch a tree in the face
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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