Umm I'm too high to move.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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