She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize