i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
