HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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