i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize
