Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
