oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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