She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
