if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
