There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
