can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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