OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
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as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
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I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
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