So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
