Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
