i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
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12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
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What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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