So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
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