NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize