Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
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