I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
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