She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize