There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Randomize
