you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Its about making memories worth repressing
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
