awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Randomize
