You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
