Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
