I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
