One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
did i walk over a car last night?
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
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