Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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