I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
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So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
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Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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