I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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