He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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