the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
