My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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