I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
So vagazzling was a success
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Just puked most of my soul out..
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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