Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Tornado booty call.. dedication
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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