I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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