I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
