That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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