it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
