It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
You made out with two different species that night
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
