Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
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