I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
