I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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