I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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