you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
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I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
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LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
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