if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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