right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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