Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Tell her she can't have a vagina
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
