I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
We don't watch enough power rangers
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
