never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Randomize
