i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.