friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.