This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people