Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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