Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
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