Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
