No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
