i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
