Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
