You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
