i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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