And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
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