remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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